Source: Webshots

Popularity: 89% [?]

Source: Webshots

Hi, this is my first Wordless Wednesday in this blog. Hope I’ll meet a lot of friends here. Happy WW!

Popularity: 100% [?]

I’m just an egg in this crazy cycle called life. Not even a larva and still far from being a pupa. I’m about to turn 30 but who says that I’m already an adult. Immaturity is a different thing. I maybe child-like at times but childish am not. Wisdom is everything. I still have a lot to learn, though sometimes I think I’ve already gone through a lot.

I can’t say that I’ve been a thoroughly happy child when I was growing up. I’m the only girl in a brood of six. I don’t have any girl playmates so most of the time I play on my own. Sometimes when I get so tired playing with my imaginary girl friends, I would play with my brothers and their chums but I always end up getting hurt. I don’t blame them boys will be boys and they like to play it rough. That’s the reason that I was quite boyish and would always hang out with my guy friends. I was never lady like. I hate wearing dresses and doing girly stuff. I would rather be a robber or a cop in our childhood game called cops and robbers than pretend to be a princess living in a beautiful palace in a land far, far away.

My father was very strict. He used iron hands in disciplining us. With every mistake that we commit, no matter how little it was there’s a corresponding punishment. In a child’s mind, I didn’t know if it was supposed to be that way but what choice did I have? He’s the father and I’m just his child.

It was hard for me to commit errors as I was growing up. They say that you learn from your mistakes but I on the other hand was too scared to make one, for I know that there would be spanking or slapping if I do. I became a perfectionist. I get so worked up over petty things that have gone wrong. I would not sleep thinking of ways to make it right. And if I can’t, I would always justify why it’s right for it to be wrong. I thought that should always be the case but life taught me otherwise.

I’ve learned that sometimes you can never make wrong things right. That sometimes you just have to let it be. That not every problem presented to you by life has a solution. Sometimes you just have to accept it as it is and not try to change its course. That you need to be strong to face it and not try to find ways on how to evade it. I’ve made a whole lot of off beam decisions in my life. Decisions that shattered and split me into a thousand shards but luckily I’m still always able to pick myself up and start anew.

I’m also just an infant in this mad thing called marriage. I’ve just tied the knot last year to a wonderful man named Ryan. He made all things beautiful for me though ever since I’ve never really looked at marriage in rose-rimmed glasses. I’ve always been realistic. And I know that it can’t be bed of roses through and through, because we need to get pricked by its thorns too in order to learn. We get pierced every now and then but we still always manage not to get punctured too deep. But I still can’t impart any sagacious advices about marriage; I’m still on my baby steps too. I fall most of the times but I still try to get up and walk again.

And now, I’m still just a zygote in this roller-coaster ride called motherhood. While my baby inside of me is already an embryo and slowly growing into a fetus, I on the other hand am still just on the initial stage. I lost our first baby to miscarriage. And this is our second shot at being parents. I’ve never really experienced real pregnancy during the first time because I lost it even before I had the chance to. My child is now turning 6 months in my womb. And little movements and butterfly kicks coming from my baby can already bring tears of joy to my eyes. I’m still learning the ropes in becoming a mom. It’s hard but I’m willing to experience and feel every inch of becoming one.

I know that I will go through a lot of changes and transformations in my lifetime. But I hope that no matter what stage I’m in, you’d be willing to join me in my journey of discovering, learning, living and loving life’s metamorphoses.

Popularity: 93% [?]